Boundaries. Define Them. Defend Them.
Our personal boundaries create a space where we can feel relaxed and safe.
We’ve all experienced that uncomfortable feeling when someone gets to close.
Your boundary is an imaginary circle around you, a circle that if someone else steps inside makes you uncomfortable and may even set off your alarms. Your boundary will vary with different people and environments.
Unfortunately we live in a world where criminals will test your boundaries by asking innocent questions or offering, or asking for, help.
In The Gift of Fear, Gavin De Becker shares a story of a woman who who was raped because a predator took advantage of the fact that she didn’t defend her boundaries. A summary: the woman was struggling to carry her groceries, a guy approached (he was already inside her apartment complex) and offered to help. She initially refused, but he insisted that he was only trying to help. She let him help her to her door, she tried to stop him there but again he insisted. She gave in, and he gained entrance to her apartment. He raped her.
We want to keep people at a safe distance, but we don’t want to appear rude or ungrateful.
You know what? You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s feelings, but you are responsible for your safety!!
You have every right to create space between you and anyone who is too close to you. You have every right to refuse help. You have every right to defend your boundaries.
No, you have an obligation to defend them.
Take my Women’s Self Defense class and learn how to define, and defend, your boundaries.